• Jessica Taylor Yates and Nicole Sherwin

Bachelor Recap E02: Locky's Letters Home

The token ginger was all over me like bedbugs in a Kuta hostel.

"OMG, really, I had no idea t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶d̶u̶c̶e̶r̶s̶ he would pick me." Source: Channel 10


Dear Mummy,


After last night, I was more pooped than that time I got Bali Belly from brushing my teeth with the water that Laura 'Louis Vucon' thinks is so gross. So, J̶o̶n̶a̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ Oshie let me have a sleep in w̶h̶i̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶s̶ ̶j̶u̶d̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶e̶a̶c̶h̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶b̶e̶r̶ ̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶d̶a̶y̶.̶ I tell you what, Channel 10 is bonza for a bargain. They decked the mansion with all the flowers from Flemington that won’t be used this Spring Racing Carnival.


I had a w̶e̶t̶ dream about t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶n̶e̶r̶ Bella last night, so naturally t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶d̶u̶c̶e̶r̶s̶ I wanted to take her on the first date. But, mummy, I was so mad at that Oshi guy! I wanted our date to be a raft making challenge, then we could test our work on the white rapids of Sydney. I wanted to ease Bella into her new life a̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶I̶n̶s̶t̶a̶g̶r̶a̶m̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶l̶u̶e̶n̶c̶e̶r in Kuta. But Oshi said ‘no’ mummy! He said they literally did that in Fiji three days ago. So unfair! I had to settle for a yacht that was ALREADY BUILT. Jonathan would never have let this happen.