• Jessica Taylor Yates and Nicole Sherwin

Bachelor Recap E03: Locky's Letters Home

Finally a challenge for me! One of the non-blondes slipped me a multifaced letter and told me to read. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

"Quick, who am I keeping next?" Source: 10Play

Dear Mummy,

After their communal hissy fit on the photoshoot for the magazine, the gals piled into the NISSAN DUKE back to the Ishka Mansion, where ̶J̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶a̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶a̶̶̶n̶̶̶ Oshi told me some of them were ̶a̶c̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶k̶i̶l̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶p̶u̶p̶p̶y̶ still sulking. So he locked up one, Roxi Tatts, in the dungeon. Yes, mummy, there’s a dungeon. It’s where the bad birds go if they misbehave. Oshi has to keep them in line so they don’t leak secrets to the Daily Mail mid-season. Zoe-Claire Ranga spent a lot of time there during the first cocktail party.

But I didn’t care, because I was on a date with o̶̶̶n̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶o̶̶̶f̶̶̶ ̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶h̶̶̶o̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶b̶̶̶l̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶d̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶c̶̶̶l̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶e̶̶̶s̶̶̶, Kaitlyn. Our conversation was so deep, we touched souls. I shared with her my deepest values: STRENGTH AND HONOUR. That’s right mummy, she loved my ̶1̶2̶ ̶-̶i̶n̶c̶h̶ ̶p̶e̶e̶n̶ tatts. But budgets aren’t what they were in Tim 'Pierce' Robard's day, and Oshi only allowed us to eat Bega Cheese on the date. Mummy, you know I’m Mercer Valley or nothing! So we headed back to the mansion for the ̶w̶e̶e̶k̶l̶y̶ ̶c̶o̶v̶i̶d̶ ̶t̶e̶s̶t̶ leftover servo sangas instead.

"Where's my Mercer Valley?" Source: WikiHow