Hopefully we get some more intruders next time to spice things up.
By Katherine Lambert
Image: Network 10
Wow! What a ripper of a start to Paradise, amiright?
For all you keen watchers, cause I know you tuned in for every second of this, a LOT has happened.
Both myself and 50% of the Australian population that love Abbey/Abbie/Abby are absolutely shell-shocked that she didn’t get given a rose! She’s a bloody unicorn in there. People are now saying she should be the next Bachelorette. Personally, I’m in full support, and I read it in Who, so it must be true.
The key takeaways from the first week in Paradise are the below:
Jamie has fallen for just about every woman on the island and promised just as many a rose. He’s never given anyone a rose before and frankly, the power is going to his head. Mate, you are not The Bachelor and no one would ever let you have that much screen time. He recruits the helping hands of the other island men to help him in his predicament. Somehow, Timm with two m's manages to slip away to go for a paddle board without bothering anyone. Need to learn how to do that.
First, Stalker Jamie promised his rose to Brittney (the wild one), then Abbie when she played her nifty tricks on him, then Helena because the man can dream, followed by Cass because he felt bad that Ciarran loved her then left her. Despite Abbie’s natural instinct to recoil into the cushions when Jamie so much as breathes in her direction, she knows that she’s not getting one from Ciarran, who fell for Cass followed by Jess. Still with us?
It pains me to depend on you for a rose. Image: Channel 10.
In other news, Mary is obsessed with Glen, but so is Helena, who doesn't give up without a fight and has staked her claim on that one.
It's the first week and already firecrackers Timm and Ciarran have matching hair braids, much to Jamie’s disgust, who claims they’re besties and speak on the phone “About 20x a day”. Sure, mate.
Cass has gotten herself into a bit of trouble by slating new intruder, Jessica, by calling her, “A stripper with tatts” (or something to that effect) yet has no problem with Ciarran’s, who ends up in multiple bedrooms across multiple evenings, is interested in woman number three after two days and revealed he was previously an adult entertainer, amongst other things. Twitter exploded with these revelations and double standards.
Ciarran’s progression so far. Image: Channel 10.
Not to mention, Cass greeting Jessica warmly as she walks in, crying out from her pool toy, "It's so nice to see you, you've lost so much weight!" Like true old friends.
Like a mirror. Image: Channel 10.
Like Jamie, Ciarran had many options for his rose, but in the end, chose Jess. We get to keep both Brittney’s/Brittany’s this week, and hopefully we get some more intruders next time to spice things up.
Tune in tonight 7.30pm, Ch10 for the next riveting episode of Bachelor in Paradise.