Bachie in Paradise: LAL Weekly Recap 3
MAFs isn’t really my thing, but I can spot a dinner disaster when I see one. Enter the Bula Banquet.
By Katherine Lambert
Source: Network 10
And that’s another week down in Paradise. I don’t know about you, but personally, every possible evening is now revolving around this show. Why? Because I live in Melbourne, and all my local haunts of gyms, bars, restaurants and rugby fields are c-l-o-s-ed, until further notice.
As usual, there’s been a flurry of events happening on The Island. We saw four new gents enter the villa (in multiple ways, stay tuned), an ex and A New Girl.
But first – progression with Stalker Jamie and Brittney.
Following the rose ceremony, Jamie decides to take Brittney on a DIY date for a bit of beach and bubbles. She’s excited because she’s actually into him, she gives him all the eyes, the vibes, and goes at least 40% of the way.
“I got no chemistry from her.”
Now, MAFs isn’t really my thing, but I can spot a dinner disaster when I see one, and the Bula Banquet is just that. Day drinking leading to night drinking, alcohol-fuelled conversations and the anticipation of more arrivals; it’s all there in the recipe.
All this talk about Ciarran’s ex Renee and whaddaya know, she struts into Paradise ready for the Bula Banquet, ready to cause chaos. There was some ‘huge secret’ that Ciarran was hiding, and it wasn’t that he cheated on Renee (because he already told us that), it was that he had been on the phone to her during his time on The Bachelorette with Angie (former Gogglebox turned Bachie superstar). I’m only telling you this so you don’t have to go watch the 45-minute build up that lead to this miraculous reveal. They’re lucky we have nothing better to do.
Back to Jamie. Timm says he’s going to ‘leave’ the house and is chatting to partner Brittany in her hut. Stalker Jamie is so distraught that his best mate is leaving that he too packs his bags and scampers through the tropical bushes and down the road to leave as well. Jamie’s words to Brittney come to mind, “You and Timm are the only reasons I’m still here”. God forbid he should be there to find love, not a best mate.
The joke’s on Jamie though, because the whole island is in on this prank and is laughing away at Jamie, the poor bloke. I actually feel bad for him, he seemed quite distraught at Timm’s fake departure. Mary takes no prisoners and can barely recount the story between gasps for breath. Luckily, the producer steps in to give it to him straight and on this occasion, he’s not forced to leave. Once you walk out, you can’t walk back in, FYI.
The producer tells the contestants how unfunny the situation is. Source: Network 10
Enter Alisha, who was pinned as a gossipy girl in her first Bachie experience, but in her next she falls hard for Jules, only to have her heart broken. Long story short, she's a pretty cool chick and walks, "about five steps into Paradise" before spotting Glenn, with his lobster skin juxtaposed nicely against his blonde hair. What a dream boat. Next minute, Osher informs Alisha she’s going on a date with three guys.
Channel 10 has officially run out of Bachie alumni, because they've brought in three brand spanking new guys for the show, who have never so much as been an extra on The Bachelor/Bachelorette. For those of you not in the know (or with lives), you have to have been a previous contestant to take part in Bachelor in Paradise.
These cleanskins enjoy a date with Alisha, but her mind remains on saucy Glenn.
Meanwhile, Alex legit swims in to Paradise, much to the ladies’ delight.
Will swim for love. Source: Network 10
He’s a bit like the next Aquaman with his luscious hair, tatts and rig.
Welcome! Source: Network 10
Too much happens in this episode for me to really go on here, however, Jake has a bee in his bonnet about everyone handing out friendship roses. As he successfully found love on the show previously with ex-girlfriend Megan, he puts his foot down in the rose ceremony no less, and walks.
Two of the newbies receive a rose and the third gent sadly departs after barely 36 hours in the Fijian sunshine, which is a real shame because we didn’t get to see his full potential on the show yet (read: probably has a great rig).
YAY! Four nights a week now.