Farmer Wants A Wife Premiere: Recap

You love your ex, have kids and live remotely? What's not to love?

Source: Channel 7


K, so full disclosure: I had never ever watched an ep of this before. But this lockdown, I've felt left out. I missed the Bachie in Paradise train (I live through Kat's Updates, but still), don't like Masterchef (why do I wanna watch you eat? Now I want to eat), MAFs (too mean) The Voice (too fake) or BB (just, no). I mean, I'm weirdly into regular Bach (after a hiatus getting over the trauma that was the Honey Badger's finale - just talking about it, I'm triggered) but my fam watches Farmer...I was left out, so gave it a go.


Guys. What the hell is this?

Wait...you WANT to live on a farm? Source: GiPHY


It's a bunch of chicks who have applied online to the farmers they like in the hope of becoming their wife. Like, what? At least on Bachelor it's obviously in the hope of making a career plugging mediocre vacuums on Instagram, not supplying mud for pigs to roll around in. Who wants to do this? Is this a horror movie? Don't they have jobs and family and friends at home? So many have hair extensions and heels...do they actually know where they're going? Do they think 'The Farm' is new slang for an urban retreat?!