The Netflix Holiday Season has peaked early.
A Christmas Tree. It must be a Christmas movie. Source: Glamour
The last movie I watched with Emma Roberts was Little Italy, which I reviewed a few months ago on the pod. If you recall, it was more than a little bit shit, so you can understand my trepidation in watching not only another Emma Roberts movie, but a holiday themed Emma Roberts movie. But friends, I can confirm that a Christmas miracle has occurred - Emma Roberts has finally made her first good movie since Wild Child in 2008.
The Holidate stars Roberts as Sloane and Strayan Luke Bracey as Jackson. You may remember Luke as Trey Palmer from Home and Away. If not, let me describe him for you. He looks like a combination of all three Hemsworth brothers. He’s a holiday treat.
Jackson and Sloane are two hot single people. They meet in the mall, while they’re both trying to return shitty Christmas gifts. At this point, it becomes abundantly clear whe these two very good looking people cannot lock it down. He’s a little bit sexist and she’s super whingy.
Give me that margherita. Source: The New York Times
They agree that they will be each other’s 'holidate', meaning, every holiday they will be each other’s purely platonic date. Jackson gets to avoid all the “crazy bitches” during the holidays and Sloane can take someone home to her nagging AF mum. Uh oh, friends without benefits, someone is going to get hurt.
With each holiday that passes, their chemistry increases and they fall for each other that little bit more.
But then, a dilemma. Her brother’s wedding is on Labor Day, a holiday but also a wedding, which is not part of their deal. What to do? They both take separate dates. Yes, Jackson is invited to her brother's wedding because Chicago is such a small town and everyone knows each other. They are both sooooo jealous. If you didn’t know it by now, a.k.a you’ve never seen a single rom com in your life, it’s so abundantly clear that they have fallen for each other.
The next holiday is Halloween and they go to a party together. There are so many parties and drinking occasions in this movie, I am absolutely itching to go out drinking. She gets loose and her sister hooks her up with some pills to make her feel better.
Jackson takes her home because he’s a good guy and uh oh, turns out the pills were laxatives! She shits herself and he helps her bathe afterwards.If that isn’t true love, then nothing is.
It's love. Source: IMDB
In the morning they bang. Don’t get too excited it’s very PG. But then they have a fight. Honestly I don’t know what it’s about. It’s really not clear, but that’s the formula of a rom com and it had to happen so they make up. Thanksgiving comes and goes and they’re still fighting, and I’m still not entirely sure what it’s about, but I think Sloane is the one at fault.
It all climaxes at Christmas time, wait for it, at the same mall that met at nearly a year ago. Sloane makes a very long speech and he’s like “You’re hot, let’s bang.”
Yes, this movie is predictable as fuck. If you weren’t expecting that then...jokes on you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride and it’s a fun ride, like the Scenic Railway at Luna Park. Fun.
Kristen Chenowith is also in this, but she doesn't sing which is disappointing. Source: Tyla
It’s actually funny, there are some really solid one liners where I LOL’d. While the movie is cliché, the characters aren’t really, well Sloane isn’t. She’s kind of sloppy and dirty and when does the hot girl ever shit herself? I expect the holiday movies will be largely down hill from here.
I would watch the sequel. 8/10.
Thirsty for more? Enlighten your earholes with a new ep of the Large Almond Latte Podcast every Tuesday.
