I blame Paris for most of it.
You did this. Source: Daily Mail
Guys, we've all been there. Look at any picture from 2000-2006 and the fash and beauty choices are sheer cringe. Eyebrows thinner than Heidi Klum after four kids, tan more orange than Donald Trump and hair heated so straight you're probably still living with the repercussions of what you put yourself through all those years ago.
Luckily, help is on the way! We got in touch with renowned hair and make-up artist Jemma Psaila from Geelong-based Jemma Hair and Make-Up, who for over 15 years has worked on campaigns such as the Miss. Universe finals, Karen Gee Official, Cotton On shoots and the blue-tick brigade that is the Brownlow WAGs, so you just know she knows her shit. Plus, she went through all the below trends - so she can help us get out of them. So, let's get her help with:
Plucked eyebrows too thin and now they don't grow
Step away from the tweezers, young me! Source: NBC
Ugh, whoever started the Thin Eyebrows Cult that we all joined in the early 00's needs to be shot immediately. I don't know why we all got off on looking permanently surprised. Luckily, says Jemma, these days there is a multitude of options. "Look...the majority of us had Nike ticks for eyebrows back in the 2000s," says Jemma and PAUSE FOR LAUGHTER. Okay moving on, "Now fluffy full eyebrows are in, so how do we achieve this? Many of us haven't been able to regrow those bad boys!" The answer, says Jemma, is feather/combination tattooing, which "is very big at the moment!" Jemma warns to choose your eyebrow artist wisely, as this process "can look very natural, although you have to be very careful as I have seen some shockers! Drawn too high, wrong colour etc...and you are stuck with them for quite some time." If you're not ready to go as permanent, Jemma suggests getting them regularly tinted, which "darkens all the little fair hairs you can't see and makes them appear thicker". For our in-between friends who aren't sure, a good segway into eyebrow tattooing is an eyebrow lamination, as "this makes them look fluffy and full." Jemma advises that both tinting and lamination last about a month or so.
Wore such heavy earrings that your earlobes are about to split
Them J. Lo hoops were the shit. Source: mTV
So, I suffer from this badly. I was wearing drag-queen style earrings weighing 10kg from my ears since primary school. "BIGGER!" I would shout, wearing anything from clip-ons, my grandma's hand me downs, garage sale earrings, the bigger and heavier the better. (Minimalism is never a strong point in an extroverted Jewish family). The point is, now I look like an ex-stretcher kid, and I'm this close to them splitting open like my jeans after pasta.
According to my research (read: two second Googling), if this gets really bad and they do split, an earlobe repair is an option, which is basically cosmetic surgery to stitch it back up again. But then - what will I do with the white gold hoops I got for Chanukah?!
Put on so much coconut tanning oil that your skin is properly fried
Topdeck is the best chocolate, not skin tone. Source: NBC
Tsk tsk, younger selves with no sunscreen! Back in the day, tan = life, even at the expense of you know - fried skin, moles, wrinkles, and a little thing called cancer. How were we so dumb, yuck! Whilst there are things you can do to obviously not create even more damage - wear a hat, wear sunscreen, cover your skin, don't go in the sun in peak hours and hydrate - can you fix damaged skin? In at article for Healthline, dermatologist Dr. David Lortscher stated that there are some steps you can take to fix sun damage. Look to derivatives from Vitamins A and C (such as serums, face masks and vitamin tablets), products with alpha-hydroxy acids which he states can help reduce hyperpigmentation, and make sure to monitor the skincare products you are currently using to make sure they aren't causing any accidental further damage. And remember- sunscreen is your friend!!
Get it girl. Source: GiPHY
Wore so many acrylics with French tips that your nails are flimsy as shit
Year 11 formal flashbacks. Triggered. Source: MakeaGIF.com
Ugh, I'm cringing just thinking about it. No shade if this is still your jam, but it just personally makes me think of myself at 17 thinking I was the shit getting acrylics and believing I was oh-so-classy. But as any French-tipper knows, it's all good and well until they start to break off and peel. There was no shellac or SNS okay, it was a different time!! In an article for So Nailicious (just learnt about this, frothing that name) nail technician Gena del Portillo said in order to fix cracked, thinning, peeling nails, to make sure you are keeping your cuticles clean and pushed back; to use hand moisturiser and cuticle oils to restore health to the nail, and to keep a product like a nail strengthened on to protect the nail. For extra protection, she advises to wear gloves in areas where your nails are exposed (dishes, cleaning the loo) or use my trick and say simply to your partner, "My nails are damaged - you do it."
Started shaving, waxing or lasering too young and now it's all red and bumpy
Shaving eyebrows is a choice. Source: GiPHY
I have a friend who did this, she lasered basically pre-puberty and it just never worked, and now she can't. If you unfortunately get all red and bumpy, according to Healthline, you should make sure to moisturise after every shave. Some people find this effort, but I like feeling all slippery, I just do it while watching tv. If they go quite red, they advise to apply a cold compress or get rid of ingrown hairs by exfoliating beforehand. But when shaving, they state to avoid shaving:
quickly
too frequently
on dry skin
with an old razor
with products that irritate your skin
against the grain of your hair
too close to the skin by pulling it when you shave
You may also want to look at applying a razor burn remedy such tea tree oil or aloe vera to the area. If it's really bad, speak to your GP.
Stuffed your hair majorly from too much bleach and straightening
This me. Source: GiPHY
We all went there. When I hit high school and realised 'straight is like, the coolest' I actually would IRON MY HAIR ON AN IRONING BOARD (I can't) to get it dead straight, before subjecting my poor hair to my daily dead-straight ritual, as well as copious amounts of bleach, hair spray and extensions. Whilst there is no quick fix, Jemma recommends getting regular trims to get rid of dead and dry ends, protein to help repair, and try to giver your hair a break from all the tools and products.
To get more beauty and hair tips, see her hair transformations or to book an appointment in the Melbourne-Geelong region, follow the beautiful Jemma @jemma.hairandmakeup
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