• Jessica Taylor Yates

Stop trying to make shit couples happen. They're not going to happen

If your mate had been in any of the rels below, you'd be telling them to run for the hills, not get back together.

But...who is going to give me themed wedding vow renewals every year? Source: Wedding etc.


Who hasn't looked a pic of Chris Pratt and Anna Faris, Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield, Justin and Selena and thought, Ohh! Get back together! (Sidenote: when I Googled 'celeb couples we wish were still together', do you know what pops up heaps? Chris Brown and Rihanna! YUCKKK HELL TO THE NO!) But this week, when singer Darren Hayes was asked about the Savage Garden reunion we've all been craving (just me?) he shut it down, stating, 'Imagine if you had come out and survived a really dysfunctional and toxic relationship, and then for years later people would ask you to please get back in that relationship.' It's so true and made me think - if your friend or family member had been in any of the rels below, you'd be telling them to run for the hills, not get back together. So instead of wishing the below couples would reunite, let's just acknowledge that they were shit couples and we should stop trying to make them happen.

Brad and Jen

The moment we all dream about: he wants you back, and you've eclipsed him. Source: Entertainment Tonight.


Look, I get it. At the time, they were A-list Hollywood royalty. But that time...is legit now 15 years ago. They have been divorced longer than they even were together, let alone married. Also, rooting for someone to get back together with their ex who literally cheated on them in front of the whole world is awf - imagine if someone did that to your mate, they would be dead to you forever! Jen's a 10/10 homegirl, and we want the best for her - and that does not include running back to your ex.


Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga

Wait - which one is he dating again? Source: Elle.


Yes yes, the sexual chemistry in the A Star Is Born film was electric, yes yes, when they performed at the Oscars 100% of us were convinced they were sexing:

Um LOL... Source: @commentsbycelebs


But like...he was in a committed relationship? And they...had a child? So...really not okay to be wanting that to happen. Like even though his now-ex Irina Shayk is an 11/10 Victoria's Secret model, I don't think anyone wants to sit front row to a show of your husband emotionally banging another woman in front of 100 million viewers. Uncool. Bye.

Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody

We'll always have Chrismakkah. Source: Glamour.


Okay, so obviously we all loved them as Seth and Summer back in 2006 when The OC was the only teen drama watched around the globe. But, like thin eyebrows and ties as belts, 2006 is where this romance belongs. Both have had relationships and children with other people - Leighton Meester and Hayden Christensen respectfully - so move on!


Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner

I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you! Source: The Daily Beast.


Like, obviously we all loved us a good Bennifer 2.0. But Ben seems like...a handful. All that gambling, drinking, rumours with the nanny...he sounds exhausting. Again, would you be telling your homegirl to run back to that? Hell to the no. They have three kids, he's moved on, hopefully, she's banging her way across Hollywood as well. It's over, deal with it.

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake

The original was amazing, but like the idea of Crossroads 2, I just don't feel the sequel will be as good. Source: E! Online.


Guys, we do not need a repeat of the double denim. Is it iconic? Obviously, those outfits belong in a museum. But it was a different time. If they were still together, we may never have gotten bangers like Sexy Back or Everytime, or gotten to look at Jess Biel's amazing pink wedding dress - and we deserve those moments too.


Ryan Gosling and Yourself

Take a screenshot and get on with your life. Source: USA Magazine.


Get it together. Can you lust after him in a movie? Yes. Can you plot the demise of his relationship with human smoke show Eva Mendes and two daughters whilst planning your dream wedding? Gurlll. Get a grip. Stop trying to make yourself and Ryan Gosling happen. It's not going to happen.


___

*Except Heidi and Seal. I had to pull over when I heard they broke up. WE DESERVE THE VOW RENEWALS AND HALLOWEEN COSTUMES AND HEIDI I KNOW YOU REMARRIED BUT WHATEVER!

Everything you need for the conversations you have at brunch.

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