• Jessica Taylor Yates

The Block Recaps: Backyard Week

Here to say what we're all really thinking, like...why didn't you just build a bigger f*cking fence?

It's the final week - will our Blockheads finish on a high? Source: 9now


*Spoilers ahead*


Hi everyone, and welcome to our final round of armchair judging for 2020! This week, our Blockheads delivered some sort of side yard device, a backyard and a pool that would fit perhaps me and my dog, if half my body was out of the water. I am your resident Work From Home (WFH) Judge, here to say what we're all really thinking, like...why didn't you just build a bigger f*cking fence?


Let's go!

First up, the judges: This intro was fine, finally. No dancing, just telling us who you are. Also, I just had a crazy memory guys - remember the eras?!

Haha, good one! But seriously. Forget them. Source: GiPHY


Harry and Tash (1920s)


Oh my gosh guys, just writing 1920s makes me lol. But moving on. What we got:

I've given you the full spectrum for the finale. Source: 9now


I thought my fellow Victorians delivered a lovely space. As In-Person Judge Darren noted, the backyard tree (Pic 2) was truly 'spectacular,' and added a lovely, homely vibe. Being guided through the back, it felt luxurious, like, I would froth showing this off to friends and feel rich. Also to be fair to them as a pair, I'm no renovator, but getting a pool and a backyard entertaining area with furniture for 25k is pretty great.


That said, adding a wall to block off the lovely arch they created in Front Yard Week was a mistake (Pic 4). If you are concerned about privacy, why not put the door within the archway?!


Overall: The judges are a bit overly critical of Harry and Tash, it's like they walk in ready to be annoyed. Yes, ditch the wall, but otherwise, it is a luxurious backyard, the entertaining area and outdoor setting is lush and it flows on brilliantly.


WFH Judge: 8.5/10

George and Sarah (1940s)


These two are loveable, although I don't find they have had much of a cohesion vision throughout the series. That said, man, did they deliver this week. What we got:

Ooh la-la! Source: 9 now


This was gorgeous! I’m a sucker for fairy lights, and so sitting around the Japanese maple in that zen-style courtyard (Pic 1) just looks so calming and lovely. The perfect spot to sip your tea and judge what is going over at the neighbour's place next door. Mmm, judging.


That said, there was no big area for kids to play - guess that only matters in Harry and Tash’s front yard - but I got over this quickly when I saw the incredible BBQ and pizza oven entertaining area. Yum! Whilst the judges loved the outdoor setting that accompanied this zone, I personally would have made it a bigger seating area for entertaining - this would pretty much just fit my husband and father-in-law. That said, I did like some of the nuances they thought of, like taking the terrible Melbourne weather into consideration with a heater over their outdoor setting, and a print of the Elwood beach boxes along the pool area. Brilliant.


Overall: A truly fantastically thought out yard, with great nods to it actually being a beach house. Plus, those egg chairs they added are sick, who doesn’t want to swing in one for 20 seconds only to realise they’d rather sit still? ME!


WFH Judge: 9.5/10

Dan and Jade (1930s)


Whilst the others seem very luxurious, this is the first yard that seems actually family orientated. What we got:

Grass! Source: 9now


There’s a garden area for kids to play or a dog to run, a big deck to hang out and have friends round for a meal. With an outdoor shower and pool, it definitely was the most spacious area for entertaining so far, and the landscaping was lovely. That said, it definitely needed more styling around the pool area, and the outdoor shower, whilst unique, putting it over the dirt probably wasn't the best call, but can be easily fixed.


Overall: They probably have the best ‘bare bones’ for a family house with their landscaped yard - but Neale was correct in stating that they could have stylised this themselves for a bit more ‘wow’.


WFH Judge: 8.5/10

Luke and Jasmine (1910s)


I just love anything with curvature and arches. So sleek, so sexy, so stylish, and these two always deliver. What we got:

To die for. Source: 9now


The curved daybed is very cool. I just adore their cohesive continuations throughout the home. I’d need to know if it’s comfy - Shayna says it is (also sidenote: ultimate selfie area) - and it’s a really eye-catching, useable piece. The water feature is very calming too. That said, the small fencing alongside their home and their neighbours is insane, I would HATE the lack of privacy...seriously, why are these houses all so squashed together? They just need that fence to be at least...three times bigger than this!

Look, if you know, you know. Source: GiPHY


I know the judges have taken issue with the BBQ not being somewhat built into the backyard area, but this doesn’t bother me. Maybe I want to move it to the front or take it on the road? Isn't that what we all do when we go to a BBQ with the old Webber? So that’s fine. That said, I don’t agree with a lack of cover over the deck. The whole look is a little...industrial and not Melbourne - friendly. Like, what's the point of it? It is pool weather and winter weather in one day here, plan accordingly.


That said. The pool. Guys. This is ...a resort in Malaga. This is luxury at it’s finest. Imagine inviting your mates over to your resort villa, everyone would hate you. In an amazing way. It would almost make our lack of travel bearable.


Overall: The cabana and mini-fridge, outdoor setting, the styling, honestly, I'm dead. The pool is an absolute wow factor for me.


WFH Judge: 9.5/10

Jimmy and Tam (1950s)


These are the only two who were still clinging onto the theme for dear life. Whilst I personally didn't care for their Area-51-esque front yard (even though they won!) we all wanted to know how they were going to turn their backyard into the scene of a Mexican cartel business meeting. What we got:

With cacti, bigger is NOT always better. Source: 9now


So, I'll be honest - I flat out don't like breeze bock (Pic 1). I know its 50s and a good nod to the era, but just like asking permission from your husband to get a credit card, some things are best left behind in the past. To me, it just looks cheap and dated.


That said, I have a soft spot for trendy Tam, and I agree with Neale in that the backyard is the ‘logical extension’ of the desert wasteland that is the front yard - but this time, paired back (thank f*ck). The cacti in mini planter boxes is where they should stay, and not feel like I’m visiting Area 51:

Cya in Nevada. Source: GiPHY


The planning of this space was lovely, and I also like that while simple, the entertaining area and deck are large enough for guests. By the pool, I just adore the pink sun chairs and lounges, fun 50s vibes, green artwork, and think it all ties in neatly with their home. That said, I agree a bit with the judges in that the 'indoor changing area' is a bit confusing, but thought the way Shayna put it about them ‘totally missing a beat’ was a bit harsh. I think they also could have added some more WOW pops of colour like they previously had in bathrooms to really drive their kitschy home...uh...home.


Overall: I thought it was a fun mix of cacti, 50s and luxury, but just felt a bit...unfinished toward the end.


WFH Judge: 8/10

____

Winners: It's a win for George and Sarah, who have walked away with a newwww carrrr!

Lol jks. Just George and Sarah. Noone else. Source: GiPHY


Wrap it up: Our poor, exhausted Blockheads have gone home for some well-deserved shut-eye and some vegetables after letting their teeth rot off sponsored fast food for months on end. We'll see them back for the (heart-wrenching) final auction next week - right here on largealmondlatte.com


Missed a recap? Catch up on all The Block action here. We're back every Sunday with WFH Judge thoughts on reveals with Large Almond Latte.