• Jessica Taylor Yates

The Block Recap: Master Ensuite Bathrooms

Where we judge from the comfort of our living rooms or let's be real, our own bathrooms.

Be right back, adding this to my vision board. I'm sure my husband will love it. Source: Channel 9.


Hi everyone, and welcome to another round of armchair judging! I am your resident Work From Home (WFH) Judge with zero qualifications in interior design but like all of us, a Master's Degree in Internet Opinions. As viewers, let’s be real, and talk about what we really thought of tonight’s ensuite bathrooms. First up, are we judging without eras now? Like, are they totally forgotten? If I was to judge the 1940s on hitting the era, for example, it’s a hard 0/10. That said, it is a beautiful bathroom. So maybe we will just go with that. Secondly, claps all round - no one was terrible. Everyone had a really ‘nice’ bathroom that you probably wouldn’t re-do, was consistent and lovely. I kinda wanted everyone to win. But, this is a competition, and some are more equal than others. Let’s go!



Harry and Tash (1920s)

Yass VIC! We stuffed up last time, but you got this! Hoping for:

Just give the people (read: me) what they want - MIAMI VICE! Source: Pinterest.


What we got:

Thank you for listening. Source: Domain.


Look, I really like Harry as a person (well, the Harry I see on tv) and I felt this was a huge improvement on their last bathroom. In all honesty, I hated that they flashed the last one on the screen. It gave me PTSD:

I am triggered. Source: Domain.


But I felt some cute 1920s-vibes in the master ensuite. The green tiling was totally on the money, it felt sexy and sleek. Also, the pink/green/black combo is totally on-trend whilst still a nod to the era. I really also loved the presentation of the bath, like, WELCOME to your relaxation sanctuary. It was well planned out. I maybe would have liked the floor to tie in with the whole bathroom a bit more - black tile maybe? I am also unsure of where I put my Woolies brand shampoo and conditioner - on the floor, like a PEASANT? And as always, I’ve been wishing for that bomb 1920s mirror above. I also wasn’t a fan of Tash agreeing with the judges - stand by your dad! All in all, probably their best room so far. Opa!


The Block Judges: 28.5/30

WFH Judge: 8/10

George and Sarah (1940s)

Okay, so last week, their master bedroom stressed. Me. OUT. The red, the mural, the army sheets - so much going on, and none of it pleasant.

I was upset. Source: GiPHY.


So, this was a welcome jolt in the opposite direction. What we wanted:

Gosh, how dull and plain...Source: Retro Renovation.


What we got:

Thank you for listening. Source: Nine, Domain.


Let’s start with the good: I liked how this bathroom ‘matches’ the one they created previously, consistency is good. Clean, nice, with dual sinks and mirrors which I enjoy. I’m personally loving the renaissance of pink in the bathroom. But I really couldn't tell just how ‘pink’ this was, it was different on tv and in photos. For me, the pinker the better (see, Jimmy and Tam). Some more greenery would've added a bit of punch, I think. I have to say though, and this is for all bathrooms, really - not really into the ‘Watch me wash!' - style shower. I don’t get it. Either spray me personally at every angle like I'm standing in a jacuzzi, or make it real close and have a shower with your fella, Stella. Not just like, staring at me across the room shaving my legs. It’s weird. Anyway. Overall, nice.


WFH Judge: 7.5/10

The Block Judges: 28.5 /30

Dan and Jade (1930s)

Okay, so I wasn't really sure what to expect, but they haven't been terribly 'on-theme'. Perhaps:

Modern decadence. Jeeves, fetch me another daiquiri. Source: Victoria Plum.


What we got:

A fishy-fishy-fishy. Source: Domain.


I have to admit, I was shocked that not only did this not win, but came last (admittedly by only half a point, but still). I absolutely loved the fish scale tiles added in here. It feels really luxurious and a bit ‘extra’ for the Brahhhtin household. It was a perfect mix of old charm with modern amenities, which is really what I felt the judges have wanted this whole time. Plantation shutters and the drawers feel like a nice nod to the time period - but I’m with Darren on ditching those hideous $2 Shop slippers:

Enough! Source: GiPHY.


That said, I disagreed with Darren on the vanity space, where he wanted it to be longer. I liked having a plant there which gave the room a bit of 'oomph' and a feature, it always feels nice to have a bit of nature in there. Can't see powerpoints though - where do I plug in my knock-off GHD straightener? That’s for all of them, really. Also, again with the floating vanity - I just see yet another place I have to dust and UGH just add a drawer to touch the ground so that’s another chore eradicated!


WFH Judge:8.5 /10

The Block Judges: 28/30

Luke and Jasmine (1910s)

Okay, let’s be real. Was there even a HINT of 1910s in here? Hell to the no. What we were hoping for:

Good help is so hard to find these days. Source: Pinterest.


What we got:

Dammit, it's good. Source: Homes to Love, Domain.


I’m confused when Neal said they’re great being faithful to the period - what was 1910s? I can’t see a thing, and I have the same glasses (well, mine are knock-offs) as Sir Whittaker. But moving that aside, it’s a lovely bathroom. I frothhhh me some gold accents, although, do they rust and go tacky? It ticks all the boxes for a fresh, modern bathroom for me: bright; white and gold and plants. Overall, I think most people would love having this bathroom. I also liked the big space between the sinks, like cool my make-up bag and array of hairpins can finally have their rightful place on the counter. Having this bathroom, I’d feel so fresh and hip. Kind of loving a black bath as well, like, away with exercise and clean you never!

Preach. Source: GiPHY.


WFH Judge: 8.5/10

The Block Judges: 29/30

Jim and Tam (1950s)


Omg. Guys.

I'm not even going to pretend I wanted anything else.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this!

Alexa, play 'Sweet Fantasy' on repeat. Source: Domain.


What an absolute fantasy! The pink basins, I can’t! I’m in love!

Me looking at this bathroom and imagining affording it. Source: GiPHY.


The glorious pink tile, the gold accents, the plants. It’s 50’s, it’s luxurious, it’s funky, yet still contemporary and different and interesting and stunningly beautiful (count the adjectives). I also love the carry on of Hollywood 50s art everywhere. Sorry I’m just so excited because there are sometimes rooms I like for The Block in terms of ‘I understand why buyers would want that’, but with this, like, I am in LOVE and want it, presto (note to self: find 19K to make this happen). I can’t be bothered doing anything in lockdown, but I would leap out of bed to hop in that shower. I know the judges thought they may not go as well without a second bath, I don’t think that matters too much if there’s one in another room. LOVE it!


WFH Judge: 10/10

The Block Judges: 29/30


But that's just me. Jury, what say you?

___

Til next week!

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