Ho, Ho, Ho, pull out your Christmas sweaters and lower your expectations.
The Angel of Christmas. Source: Netflix.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year: when Netflix fills our stockings with terribly good Christmas movies. So pour yourself some eggnog and get ready for these gifts from the Santa of Streaming:
Holidate
"You know we belong together." Source: Netflix
The Cast
Emma Roberts from Little Italy, (which makes me more than just a 'little' bit weary to watch anything with her in it ever again), Luke Bracey from Home and Away (okay I’m back to feeling neutral about this), and Kristin Chenowith from Wicked fame - so she better sing.
The Plot
Two holiday haters (is this movie about me?) meet and make a pact to be each other’s dates for each festive holiday over the next year. They have no interest in each other at first, then fall in love, obviously, because the holidays are magical. It probably climaxes with a kiss under a Christmas tree. My ‘holidate’ to this movie will be no less than two bottles of red. I can’t wait.
Premiere
Wednesday, October 28th 2020
Operation Christmas Drop
" We're soaring, flying...wait, wrong Christmas movie actress." Source: Netflix
The Cast
Kat Graham, a veteran of the Netflix Christmas movie genre after starring in A Holiday Calendar last year, and Alexander Ludwig, who you'll remember hating as ‘Cato’ in The Hunger Games.
The Plot
Kat Graham is Erica, and she is on that career ladder. Seeking a promotion as a congressional aide, she forgoes a family Christmas to spend it with a hot air force captain in the middle of the Pacific at her boss' behest. Sidenote- can I work for this lady? She’s also there to find reasons to defund the base. Obviously, she and the hot captain butt heads at first, but you know they’re going to hook up. Americans in the Pacific? I can already fill hints of cultural appropriation brewing too.
Premiere
Thursday, November 5th 2020
Dash and Lily
Underage cute. Source: Netflix
The Cast
Austin Abrams (Euphoria) and Midori Frances. I dunno where she’s from, but I’d like to meet her parents with a name like that.
The Plot
Glass half empty Dash, and glass-half-full Lilly trade dreams and desires in a notebook they share. They pass the notebook back and forth in locations all over New York City and a holiday romance builds. It’s based on a best selling book and if we know one thing about the movie adaption, it’s never as good as the book.
Premiere
Tuesday, November 10th 2020
The Princess Switch: Switched Again
The solider on the left looks a lot like Zac. Source: Netflix
The Cast
Vanessa Hudgens, Vanessa Hudgens & Vanessa Hudgens
The Plot
Am I already 12 seltzers in? Because there are three Vanessas in this one. An 18 year old Zac Efron’s dream. Duchess Margaret hits a rocky patch with hey boyfriend Kevin. Lookalike #1, aka Princess Stacey, has to get them back together, but there’s another hot guy trying to bang Margaret. Then shit gets really wild when lookalike #3, wild cousin Fiona comes to town.
Premiere
Thursday, November 19th 2020
Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey
Ooh, what's he making? Source: Netflix
The Cast
Forest Whitaker. Wait - this must be a mistake. He’’s a legit actor, with a Best Actor Academy Award! Then there's Madalen Mills and Keegan-Michael Key, what? Are you sure? He also has an Academy Award!
The Plot
It’s a musical, so scroll on if that’s not for you. It follows a toymaker (Whittaker), who has these mad inventions. But then his apprentice (Key) steals his most prized creation, so the inventor's granddaughter has to sort it out. I assume there is magic involved. The storyline is giving me strong Lewis Carrol on Opium writing Alice in Wonderland vibes. Oh, and Usher is on the soundtrack too. Yeaaah, Yeaaah!
Premiere
Friday, November 13th 2020
Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square
AN ACTUAL ANGEL. Source: Netflix
The Cast
Dolly Parton and Christine Baranski
The Plot
Who cares? There are 14 new Dolly Parton songs.
But, okay fine. Rich bitch ‘Regina Fuller’ comes back to her small home town after her father’s death. It’s right before Christmas, so like a true grinch, she wants to evict everyone and sell the town to a mall developer. But, the spirit of Christmas gets in the way and thanks to a true Christmas angel, her cold, dead, heart starts to melt.
Premiere
Sunday, November 22nd 2020.
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