I Thought I Had Found 'The One'.
I got so used to the constant ghosting, rejections, false starts and glimmers of hope, that when I thought I had found 'The One', I fell deep. Almost like...a relationship.
This is actually how it feels, though. Source: Molly Kate Kestner
This week, I lost my job.
Not particularly unique in the age of the 'rona. In April alone, over 780K Australians lost their jobs over a period of three weeks, with billions of lost revenue. Unemployment here is set to hit 10%, the highest since the 1992 recession.
When I got the announcement, I was absolutely floored. Just like a break-up, I spent days hysterically ugly crying on the couch, until like Ariana, I had no tears left to cry. I went through a realm of emotions – I was humiliated, devastated, stressed, depressed and really, just mentally exhausted. I both appreciated and was embarrassed by the sympathy texts at the same time, angry at people trying to do the right thing either way. I was so embarrassed for myself, for telling people how much I loved my job- a similar feeling to telling your mates about another relationship, only to find your alleged partner did not feel the same way. I had already spent the majority of 2019 searching and did not see myself on the job market again so soon. I was furious at myself for not being better, for not seeing it coming, for not 'getting' the team culture, company or the work, for being too 'me'. And that crushing feeling that kept resurfacing - 'I can't believe I have to do this all over again'.
It has happened to me and others before, and will undoubtedly do so again. But I couldn't help but take this one particularly hard, and pretty personally. Just like when being broken up with, everyone told me not to- it's the times; it was them, not me; it's not personal - but when you're a writer and the sole part of your job is based on your own writing style (not to mention you were pretty much put in a writer's Hunger Games scenario to see who would win), it's a little hard not to. To me, whether it's a job or a person, there's nothing more personal than being broken up with.
It is personal to me.
It has now been a few months, and I am once again back on the unfortunate job searching scene. Just like dating, I am learning to put myself out there again – because well, I have to, even if I don’t want to (50 new job apps and counting...) with my updated qualities and nervous optimism out there for everyone to see. But before I go into the stages of a break-up for both job and love-seekers, for any recruiters or potential suitors out there who may be reading, I implore you, after going through this period for months, to do the one thing that drives everyone in both the dating and job-seeking world crazy:
Get. Back. To. People.
That's...pretty much it. Seems simple, and yet...AND YE