A thank you to readers, messengers and sharers.
A new personal blog series exploring the highs and lows that epitomise the conversations you have at brunch.
This is Part 19 of a series. For a recap of Parts 1 to 18, click here.
So, this may be the last post for a while, for reasons that will become clear in due course. Thank you to those who've stuck through an almost 20-post monologue of births, deaths and marriages - and one cake.
This series was written in past tense, and has now caught up to the real world, currently March 2024.
Some things have been great.
Our wedding (take three!) is set to go ahead, the curse (so far) appears to be lifted. I've still got some bloody great friends and know I will 'til the day I die. I finally got my act together and lost the Covid 10kg (for how long I am unsure, as I type this while eating my cheese and pineapple pizza). I've been lucky to go on some awesome interstate holidays and for the last blissful six months, the footy has not been on.
Some things have just been in the middle.
I keep saying I love Melbourne for the culture, but still haven't found time to see Triennial or the summer night markets. I keep trying to find out if I'm the most entertaining slash most liked client of my therapist, which apparently, the point of therapy is not to 'win it.' My teeth whitener hasn't worked because I refuse to give up coffee and bolognese. I have an endless to-do list and I'm never, ever in the mood to mop.
Some things have been terrible.
My beautiful dog slash child Maple was diagnosed with terminal cancer (lymphoma), and her treatments are costing a flight to Europe every three weeks. We had an unsuccessful embryo implantation attempt, and the news for both of these horrible events was delivered in one 48 hours period. It led to a period of depression and apathy in general, although weddings, Taylor Swift, hot weather and people around me have been a welcome respite.
Right now, life is a little in limbo. I feel on the precipice of opportunities and life events that could be wonderful - wedding, child, career. But these are three things that have also been taken away time and time again. So the hope is there, quietly, anxiously. I told my partner I realised I'm always clenched and keep needing to remind myself to relax my body, does he do that too? He was like no- that's just you little anxious micro! Baby steps. So all I can do now is wait and hope for the best. Whatever happens, happens.
I may do one more update of the wedding - one, because it's happy and fun, two, who doesn't love stalking weddings, and three - I don't like that this has ended on 19, 20 is more rounded.
So one more update in a month's time, and then in due course when I can speak in past tense rather than present.
Thanks for sticking with me, letting me use this blog as free cathartic therapy, and allowing me to share our story to date. Storytelling in all its forms, from Indigenous rock paintings to film, music, blogs and spoken word is how we communicate, connect, learn and empathise with each other and the world.
So thank you for letting me share mine - so far.
xx Jess.
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