Film Review: Can You Keep A Secret?
It's the treat you've been craving this lockdown season.
Babetown. Source: GIPHY
From the opening credits, this film felt like a very strong brand alignment. ‘Our lips are sealed’ is playing over an animated montage. It stars:
Alexandra Daddario from the Baywatch movie, the one with the stunning blue eyes, whom I want to be best friends with. My permanent Top 5 babe Zac Efron gushes about her. My IRL boyfriend also pointed out way too quickly and in too much detail how she gets nude in True Detective Season 1, Episode 1.
Tyler Hoechlin, who is better known as Derek in Teen Wolf or for the real elders, Martin in 7th Heaven.
Superstar Laverne Cox, of Orange Is The New Black and amazing red carpet fame
It is based on the book by Sophie Kinsella, who also wrote Confessions of a Shopaholic. Yes, I am in for a real treat.
Source: Trailer Addict
Off the back of a disastrous sales pitch in Chicago, Emma, (Alexandra Daddario) gets lit before flying home to San Fran. Instead of getting a promotion she so desperately craves, (because if we know one thing about millennials is that we love recognition-like this post?), she thinks she’s probably going to get fired. The doll of a flight attendant takes pity on her and upgrades her to First Class. She’s a loose mess, but still wildly stunning. The plane gets super turbulent, like even the flight attendant is stressed so you know it’s bad. Thinking she’s going to die, she begins to spill all her life secrets out to the super-hot guy sitting next to her. She’s so lit she doesn’t even notice what a thirst trap he is, or that the plane lands and they’re all fine. She’s awkward and cute and because she’s a walking coat hanger is definitely getting away with this retro wardrobe that would look truly awf of 95% of people. I’m invested.
Her disaster of a boyfriend picks her up from the airport. I catch the ‘ick’ just looking at this guy. There is just no way anyone believes this goddess is dating him. He likes jazz, has serial killer eyes and walks around his apartment with a t-shirt and no pants.
She goes to work the next day at her job as a marketing executive at Panda, which is some sort of organic energy drink/foods company. Luckily, she does not get fired, because her boss is Laverne Cox who is not capable of such brutality. The CEO is visiting today who it turns out…is the thirst trap from the plane. How embarrassing, she’s told him all her secrets.
He’s got that hot half-smile Joey Potter-thing going on and they flirt shamelessly. Well, the CEO Jack does, she’s really awkward and totally adorbs. She tries to get some sort of spark back with her actual boyfriend and it does not happen, so she kicks him to the curb, thankfully allowing her to date Jack without forgoing her moral code.
They start to date and it’s the absolute cutest, but he keeps taking these sneaky phone calls and tells her he really doesn’t want anyone knowing that he was in Chicago. Does he have a mistress? Is he selling the business?
She gushes to her two best friends/roommates that she loves him over a glass of rose, which obviously makes it completely relatable. But her friends are like, do you actually know anything about this guy? I’m stressed. This is too good to be true. There is definitely heartbreak on the horizon for our gal Emma.
Jack has a live interview on some finance channel. The whole office gathers around to watch it. Jack is asked, ‘Who is the target audience for your brand?’ A question you would definitely be asked during a finance chat, sure. Because he’s only got Emma on the mind, he starts to describe her and in doing so spills all her secrets. She has a My Little Pony bedspread, she isn’t fashion-forward, she cries every time she hears ‘Demons’ by Imagine Dragons. Her colleagues realise he’s describing her and that Emma is sleeping with the boss. They break out in laughter and all start singing ‘Demons.’ They should all be suspended for workplace bullying. I just want to go hug Emma. She’s devooo.
She comes home to her two best friends in tears. Jack calls her and she tells him she never wants to talk to him, see him, feel him or taste him again. Her friends want to get revenge, so suggest she do the same thing to him and spill all his secrets. But she doesn’t know any of his secrets because she doesn’t know anything about him! But she does, she knows that he didn’t want people knowing he was in Chicago…Her 2nd best friend is like, I dated someone who works for a tabloid, leave it with me. At this point, I want to tell her she needs to find some new best friends because this is not going to turn out well.
Jack stalks her and finds her in a coffee shop. He tries to apologise, but still won’t open up, because he has trouble trusting people. He’s been burnt so many times before. Emma is not having a bar of it.
I guess because of this, or despite this, I’m not sure the plot gets a tiny bit murky here, Emma gets ballsy. Her colleague tries to take credit for her idea that turned out to be a huge success in the middle of a meeting and she’s like, ‘No, that was all my idea, now Laverne Cox, I’d like that promotion.” Laverne is like, totally done. I don’t know if this scene was necessary at all, but good for her.
It’s the night of her 1st best friend's dance recital. The movie has some real OG qualities which are refreshing. Jack turns up before the performance ready to share his secrets. The reason he was in Chicago is because…his Goddaughter lives there. His former business partner died and they try to keep the daughter out of the spotlight. That’s it. Mildly anti-climatically but I’ll accept it because he’s hot.
After the show, her 2nd best friend turns up with the reporter, who is Frank from 30 Rock. He starts to interview Emma about Jack being in Chicago and Emma’s like, “Stop it, there’s nothing to say.” But it’s too late, Jack walks out to see the reporter and thinks Emma has sold his story. This is why he doesn’t trust people!
Jack’s out. He gets back on a plane to Chicago, but Emma buys a ticket too. I assume the promotion came with a tidy pay rise? I just assume from previous millennial rom- coms (and The Bold Type), that she’s struggling financially and he’s loaded. She sneaks into First Class tries to talk him, but he doesn’t say anything. Then, before the plane takes off, Jack braves it with the poor people in economy to find her. He starts to spill his secrets to her. He’s afraid of the dark, he has a fake tooth. He met a girl on a plane and his whole life changed and he is completely in love with her. I cannot. I love love!!!
If you’re a fan of the classic chick-lit come rom-com, you will absolutely froth this low involvement movie and spend two hours post-movie stalking Tyler Hoechlin and Alexandra Daddario as I have.
There’re a few plot holes that I could definitely overlook, and I would have liked it to be longer obvi, so I give it 8/10.
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