• Nicole Sherwin

How To Make Adult Friends

Because not all of us are #blessed with great work colleagues.

"Hahahahaha we are having SO much fun!" Source: Wix Media

This week in the Facebook group we asked you: How do you make friends as an adult?

As a self-proclaimed lazay biatch, I’m always looking to do segments that sit in my realm of forte, in order to really minimise the research element required. And I thought adult friend make was definitely in that realm, because in the most obvious and un-relatable thing I’ve probably ever said on the pod, I have too many friends, in fact, I’ve been trying to shed friends for the past few years because having too many friends only leads to disappointment- for them. Having too many friends means so many social events that I have to decline because I just don’t want to go. But I haven’t shed them -why? Because I need constant validation. I need the invites, the likes, the comments, the messages. I’m a superficial person and those things make me feel good. So, no- I haven’t shed them, rather, I want more friends. I know, I’m a complete wanker. But like I said, I thought I was pretty good at friend making, and you are elite friend makers! And the world needs your advice because two out of three millennials experience loneliness. We’re digitally connected but struggle with real-life connection. But you are braver and outgoing a by the end of this I assume we’ll all be rich in friends like Kylie Jenner is rich in money.

Source: GIPHY

Being time poor, important, busy people, the obvious route of least effort is the place where we spend min 38 hours per week (in regular times). But making friends at work is totally industry and job dependent. For example, if you work in media communications – it’s prime pickings. Advertising, media, marketing, digital, PR. There’s basically a rule that states you have to be a female under 30 to get an account management job in those industries. I’m not even joking about that…I once had a boss in advertising who openly only hired girls for entry-level management jobs because they were 'organised and diligent', whereas boys would 'question authority'. Basically, we were good little workhorses with no professional self-esteem who wouldn’t question the 16 hour days which equated to a tidy $7 an hour. And it’s all about balance, the young girls held up the entry-level end while the old men held up the c-suite end. Obvi. But also, working in those industries gives you clients and exposure to workplace equivalent of stale milk. An office full of Trump supporters, or game hunters or generally a collective of people who are the equivalent of black jelly beans. It physically pained me being in some client’s offices. Working in media comms is like going shopping in a shopping centre for friends. You’re spoilt for choice: these places are like living in a small town with one Country Target to buy your clothes. Rough. Then there are the self-employed, or working on the road, where there are just no options at all. So let’s get creative.

Source: GIPHY

Join a cult

And I obviously don’t mean like a Jim Jones or Heaven’s Gate cult, I mean an exercise cult. Exercise cults are very specific. I don’t mean join a Fitness First a do a pump class. Because a pump class is like an overcrowded public school- there are too many students for individual attention. If I’m going to a pump class, I’m not going to make friends, I’m going to judge you and make a summation of your entire life based on your activewear alone and your ranking in the class performance, which I am definitely giving you. No, an exercise cult is a boutique. You go religiously, but with the same group of people at the same time. F45 is a cult. They even have 10 commandments. That, true to cult form, are pretty aggressive. Personally, I didn’t make friends when I was in the F45 cult, but that’s because I was very religious and dedicated to the practice. I was there to strictly observe the faith. But fan Amber has made some of her best friends through her faction of the F45 cult. Fan Ash joined a girls football team. Again regular practice, with the same group of people. That’s 40 friends- bang. Pole dancing is an excellent opportunity for friend acquisition. Regular classes, small classes with the same people. Fans Polly, Jess and Christina can all attribute to this as a friend maker.