• Jessica Taylor Yates

The Block Recap: Guest Bedroom Reveals

Ffs, how long is this going to take?

This totally screams soda pop and jailhouse rock, yeah?

Jesus this ad, I mean, show, goes on forever. We were half an hour in before anything decent happened, so I'm just gonna skip the manufactured drama (and come on, if you want drama, go deep, see: The Bachelor) and get to the major disappointment that was: e̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶z̶e̶n̶ ̶L̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶n̶'̶ ̶E̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶l̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶1̶7̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶p̶a̶i̶n̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶ the guest bedroom reveals.


There's nothing I love more than a theme, and so I was so excited for our couples to lean into the era of their homes. Not only did nobody get the memo, but they didn't even go cool, modern. They just went...blah. Don't worry, I, as your faithful 'Work From Home' (WFH) Judge, am here to deliver the true viewer verdict.


First up, Harry and Tash's '1920s' abode.


So, can I just say, I totes would have picked the 1920s house. So easy to be glam! I'm seeing art deco mirrors, velvet, sleek lighting, glamorous gold, sexy curtains and drapery. Here is what they saw:

Uh...the lamp is gold, so kinda 20s...ish?


I was so disappointed. Don't get me wrong. It is a perfectly nice, clean guest bedroom, and it was painted well after the beach box fiasco (again no judgment, I can't paint for sh*t). But I just wanted so much more: go glam, go beach, go 1920s, Gatsby party guys!

I wanted deco, dammit!!


The 20s did not deliver, but it was a sign of worse things yet to come.


WFH Judge Score: 4/10 (I'm harsh, #sorrynotsorry)

In-Person Judge Score: 24/30

Whatever. The devastation that this Jewish woman wasn't able to visit Miami, Florida from her couch aside, next up we had:



Sarah and George's '1940s' home.


The fact that these aren't in chronological order kills me, but let's press on. Presenting their 1940s-inspired guest bed:

Let's be real, none of us really know what 1940s is.


Now, the judges were super shitty about this, feeling they 'missed the mark' on the era. I thought that was a little unfair, as they really seemed to be one of the only couples who gave a nod to the era with the lights. Are they a bit ugly? Look, this kinda old-school vibe is not to my taste, but it still looks luxe with a nod to the era, and I don't think they deserved Shayna's meltdown. Plus, they added a sneaky study which even though I agree with the judges, it was kinda drab, is a good selling point come auction time - although when Shayna pointed out it could be a walk-in, I did tend to agree. Who doesn't froth a walk-in robe? But I was hoping they were gonna go more 'Hollywood starlet in fluffy dressing gown crying at the windowsill' 1940s-vibe:

"Oh, I shan't ever attend a Hollywood gala again!"


But again. No luxe. Gutted.


WFH Judge Score: 5/10

In-Person Judge Score: 21/30

Daniel and Jade's '1930s' boudoir


This was a nice enough guest bedroom. The colours went together, they added a 'ceiling rose' (I gather this means cool designs on the ceiling) and an ugly light fixture that is apparently totes 1930s:

Also sidenote, but can anyone explain to me why the judges insisted on using food adjectives like 'delicious!' and 'yummy!' to describe this room? Ick. Moving on. Now, I know the judges hated the plantation shutters, but they are EXPENSIVEEE so if I got a house that came with them I'd be delighted, so whatever. The pictures and pillows were a little To Grandma's House We Go for mine, and again, I was hoping for some Hollywood glam:

Did I mention I like over the top Hollywood glam?


WFH Judge Score: 6/10

In-Person Judge Score: 25/30

Luke and Jasmine's '1910s' period room


I guess the first thing I think about a 1910s house would be snoozefest, but then I would think about lots of secret towers and chandeliers and stuff. We could go full Mary Poppins or Meet Me in St Louis-style glam, right? Here was their take:

Uh...what decade is this again?


Look. Is there anything 1910s about it? I mean, I was born in the 80s, so what do I know? But from my googling below, no:

Give us Cinderella and Prince Charming's new digs!


I mean, what should they have done, put a washboard in the corner? That said...controversially, I really liked this. Yeah, they should lose some points for being off-theme (although, was anyone on the theme, really?) but at least it's a bit different and not the usual snoozefest we get from The Block bedrooms. I like the big pop of colour, the cool rounded bedhead (1920s house, take note) and general vibe. Minus points for the artwork that is not the right size (according to me) above the bed, and for those hideous side lamps. I never like when lights are built-in either, means you can't switch your bed around if you wanted to.


WFH Judge Score: 6/10

In-Person Judge Score: 20.5/30 (way harsh, Tai!)


Finally, the winners:

Jimmy and Tam's '1950s' beach house bungalow


Defs my second choice, 1950s! Yay, let's go pink, show us the jukebox, a lot of pink, Grease is the word!

I SAID, Grease is the word!!


I mean, look. I don't know what I was expecting. Not...this. That said, it's obviously lovely. I like that they leant into it being a Brighton house near the beach, after all, and lots of natural light (although, that window really gives way to Peeping Toms. Nerv.) The colours are modern and beachy, the room feels spacious and bright. I can't tell you a thing about it that is 50s, but I guess we only get angry when they don't follow the theme when it's 1940s and 1910s? I don't get it.

I would've settled for some 1950s beachy prints.


I do appreciate, however, that they including a secret door, cos everyone loves thinking they live in a spy house, for which I will award a bonus point. They ending up winning and getting a CASUAL 130K. I'd so just go home after that as I am SO NERVOUS the houses won't sell during Covid. But, we will save our stress for auction day.


WFH Judge Score: 7/10

In-Person Judge Score: 25.5/30


Til next week, Blockheads!

Missed a recap? Get it here.


The Block Reveals air Sundays at 7pm on Nine.

_____


Images:

The Block bedroom images courtesy Channel 9

Inspirational pictures courtesy Pinterest

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